Is it the solitude or is it loud in here?

Bonus musings from a quiet place

It is 4:19 PM on a Friday. I have been inside all day except when I went to the gym this morning.

I have not had time to step into the sun and feel it. I have been inside busy, but not how you would think. I did not have to work; I am unemployed —I got laid off months ago.

However, I start a new job in January, putting me in that perfect conjunction where I have no job, but my bills are covered. Even better, I do not have to worry about finding a job because one awaits me in the new year.

I have been busy doing nothing, thinking about things I want to do, but it is December in New York, and I do not have the guts to face outside. So I will stay here —in bed— in my oversized hoodie and sweatpants.

I will watch the sunset over the projects I can see through my only bedroom window.

It is not what you think though. I feel no shame. I feel no guilt. I feel no sadness. But the hurriedness of New York makes me wonder if I should get up and go to the cafe two blocks over.

Is this FOMO? I do not think so.

Because where I am is where I want to be. I know because I prayed for days like these.