That was very emotionally engaging. I completely agree with the notion that stress has the power to distract you from love and I’ve always struggled with that (tbh only recently have I come to fully appreciate what you’ve articulated). The main things that have helped me : first, just to stay away from stressful things that provide no intrinsic benefit to me (could be something as simple as exercising later in the day instead of 4am); second, contextualise the things that stress me that provide benefit to me (friend making an infuriating mistake as you love them as as friend; work shit, because it pays the bills and you’re aware the grass isn’t greener). The combo of avoidance and acceptance means I’m just generally a little happier, and therefore more likely to see the beautiful things during the course of the day, be less agitated, be more receptive to positivity - all ingredients that are essential to loving something/someone and being loved.
It’s interesting because so much literature tells us the “accept” in order to love, but I think it’s healthy and helpful to put some avoidance in the mix.
I am also learning how to compartmentalise my stress —one box for the beneficial, another box for the not so beneficial. This way one form of stress doesn’t steamroll the other and overtakes my entire life.
That was very emotionally engaging. I completely agree with the notion that stress has the power to distract you from love and I’ve always struggled with that (tbh only recently have I come to fully appreciate what you’ve articulated). The main things that have helped me : first, just to stay away from stressful things that provide no intrinsic benefit to me (could be something as simple as exercising later in the day instead of 4am); second, contextualise the things that stress me that provide benefit to me (friend making an infuriating mistake as you love them as as friend; work shit, because it pays the bills and you’re aware the grass isn’t greener). The combo of avoidance and acceptance means I’m just generally a little happier, and therefore more likely to see the beautiful things during the course of the day, be less agitated, be more receptive to positivity - all ingredients that are essential to loving something/someone and being loved.
Thanks for the response, Michael!
It’s interesting because so much literature tells us the “accept” in order to love, but I think it’s healthy and helpful to put some avoidance in the mix.
I am also learning how to compartmentalise my stress —one box for the beneficial, another box for the not so beneficial. This way one form of stress doesn’t steamroll the other and overtakes my entire life.